Nursing. It is such an emotionally-charged subject! Everywhere you turn there are people with opinions about nursing vs. formula, nursing in public, working moms and nursing, pumping, etc. I just wanted to share my personal experience and suggest a few products that I think made my life easier while I was on that journey.
Before my daughter was born, I was not really enthusiastic about nursing. I planned to breastfeed because I knew it was the best nutrition for my child*, but I wasn't really invested in it. I figured I would nurse for 3-4 months and then give over to formula once I went back to work. *Both the American Academy of Pediatrics and the World Health Organization recommend breastfeeding as the best nutrition for infants.
When my daughter was born, a primal instinct appeared in me and suddenly I was convinced that I needed to nurse! It suddenly meant SO MUCH more to me that my child be nourished the best way I knew how. Unfortunately for me, the hospital was not much help while I was there immediately following birth. To begin, I wasn't able to nurse her until almost 5 hours after her birth. This was due to many factors - my doctor/nurses did not let me hold her until she was at least an hour old (even though she was healthy with no signs of distress), I didn't know that I needed to politely excuse myself from my visitors to attempt to nurse her, and my nurses were not helpful when I had questions about how to nurse. In the middle of the night on the only night that I stayed in the hospital, I called for a nurse because I knew she wasn't latching properly and I didn't know what to do to fix it. The nurse's advice was simple and not really helpful: just keep doing it and maybe she'll catch on. No one even mentioned to me that there was a lactation consultant on call until I was already home from the hospital! What I didn't know was that my sweet baby was not latching properly.
My daughter was born on Thursday evening. By Sunday morning my breasts were in such excruciating pain that I called my mom and begged her to please find an open store that had the pumping accessories I needed so that I could pump milk for her and give my body a rest. Unfortunately no such store was open on a Sunday, so on Monday morning my mom came to the rescue. By then I would actually cry while I nursed, and would wince as soon as I heard my girl stirring, knowing that it meant more nursing and more pain. No one told me that nursing takes work. No one told me that nursing is painful at first. No one told me about latching or how to make sure it was correct.
Monday afternoon after the pump had been assembled and sterilized, I was proud to produce a bottle of milk for my daughter. Thankfully she caught on quickly and went right for it! I spent the next few days alternating between pumping and nursing at the breast, trying to rest my body and still give her what I knew she needed. This was such a dark time that I barely shared with anyone - even my husband - how much I struggled.
At two weeks postpartum, my husband convinced me to call the lactation consultant at the hospital. As we drove to the appointment, I told him how guilty I felt for not nursing properly, how much a failure I felt for not making this work. We discussed our options, solutions that we could come up with, and we agreed - if the LC (lactation consultant) had a viable solution that we could try, we would. But if her advice was simply "try harder" or "keep trying" or something else less specific, we would give up and switch to formula.
Thankfully, the LC did have a couple suggestions - one, she reminded me that we were probably experiencing the 2-week growth spurt, which would explain her insatiable need to nurse, and she helped me understand latching a little better. Of course, under scrutiny, the little girl performed perfectly and didn't display half of the issues I had had in the past 2 weeks. (Get used to that - kids don't perform anything on demand.)
Here's the short version of the rest of the story: nursing never took off for us for a number of reasons.
1) Poor support from the hospital at the time of birth.
2) Lack of knowledge on my part. I didn't take any classes or read any books - I just thought it was something natural that just happened on its own. I was wrong.
3) Poor latch on my daughter's part/my own fault for not being prepared to help this issue.
4) Society in general lacking in both knowledge and support for nursing mothers.
5) I still entertain the guilt that I should have tried harder, that I could have done more, and that I failed her. I doubt I will outgrow this.
One last thing to add: even with my experience, I'm still firmly convinced of nursing as the right choice for our family, and I will make my best attempts to nurse any future children I have. I actually have high hopes that I will do better next time, now that I know what I have learned the first time around.
On to the positives - here are some things that helped!
1) Lactation consultant! If your hospital doesn't have one on call, you can find one through resources like the International Lactation Consultant Association and La Leche League. Ask for help!! I failed do this soon enough and often enough.
2) Spilled Milk - I already reviewed this book in my post about Pregnancy/Parenting Books, but I'm putting it here also because this was such a relief to my emotional journey through nursing.
3) Nipple Shield - It's not necessary, and if you don't need it, don't use it. But if you are finding that you have troubles with latching and pain, this can help force baby to latch better while giving your skin time to heal up a bit. This is not a one-size-fits-all device. Find the correct size for you!
4) Medela Lactina Select breast pump - I was blessed beyond belief that a family friend was kind and generous enough to allow me to borrow her expensive hospital-grade breast pump. If you have the means I highly recommend renting one of these from the hospital (you will have to purchase your own pump accessory kit to go with it).
5) Manual breast pump - this is what I had for the first couple days before I was rescued by my mom and the Medela. I had an Ameda single manual breast pump, but if I were to use another manual I would get either a lever-style like this, or a cylinder style like this. I have recommendations from others that the cylinder style is better at stripping the milk all the way out, but I have not personally used one.
6) Simplisse breast milk bags - I much preferred these to the Lansinoh bags. The Lansinoh bags had problems with leaking and splitting in the freezer, but I never had a problem with the Simplisse. If you use bags, there is a tutorial you should read about how to rotate bags easily in the freezer using a used gift bag. Genius!
7) Next time around, I want to get one of these breast milk freezer trays.
8) Lansinoh lanolin cream - wonderful for sore breasts! Also, use your leftovers for chapped lips, or chapped noses when you get a cold and have to blow your nose one too many times, and for baby's chapped cheeks if your baby is a drooler/teether during the winter months.
9) Lansinoh breast pads - I really appreciated the adhesive on these, and they were the softest ones I used. Some women don't leak at all, some women leak a lot. Some women, like me, leak at the sound of a baby crying, even if it's not their own baby. (I have a very awkward memory of a church function trying to hide my leakage from a group of men when another person's baby started crying in the the hallway outside the sanctuary...)
10) Nursing cover - I'm a private person. Regardless of the fact that many women feel comfortable nursing in public, I do not. Frankly, I don't mind at all if other women nurse uncovered near me - but I personally am not comfortable doing it without some privacy. Also, at the beginning when you're still trying to figure out the latch, and/or if you need to use a nipple shield, it's not a simple transaction to do without a cover. These covers can run quite a difference in price range - if you're a seamstress, you might be better off making your own.
11) Nursing tanks - These are great to wear in the hospital when you're just figuring things out, and also great as you continue your nursing relationship with your baby. Stock up when you find them at a good price!!
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